


Baby Boys

by Delicate Dynamite (WolfPrincess2)



Category: Naruto
Genre: #they're babies now, Gen, I laugh when I reread this, I missed any typos because i was crying, I'm just making it up as I go, No Plot/Plotless, don't take this seriously, momma Hinata, momma Ino, momma Sakura, momma Tenten
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-07 20:57:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15916107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfPrincess2/pseuds/Delicate%20Dynamite
Summary: Kabuto (secretly) childishly seeks revenge on Orochimaru by playing a prank on Sasuke and his friends.





	1. Silver Haired Thot

Fandom: Naruto  
Pairings: Mentions of budding relationships? ???  
Type: The crackiest crack.  
Title: Baby Boys  
Prompt: None. I’m sick and tired but my body refuses to sleep. I’m going to post this and regret it later on. I don’t feel all that sane right now. HElp mE.

 

Kabuto was furious. He had left Orochimaru’s current lair in a fit of rage that he only showed once he was out of sight.

Orochimaru had called him an imbecile. Him, an imbecile? The silver haired medic snorted. Hardly. He devoted his every conscious moment into fulfilling his master’s wishes, and one insignificant failure had Orochimaru at his throat.

If anyone was an imbecile, it was him. It was his fault for having such high expectations. Kabuto was only human after all, and yet he had performed feats that were godlike-if he did say so himself. After all that unquestioned loyalty and devotion he should be allowed a few slip ups. But noooo. Even the tinest, minute failure was unacceptable. Which was unreasonable.

The snake sannin had apparently forgotten what this ‘imbecile’ could do and how valuable he was. Kabuto could fix that. All he had to do was make Orochimaru unable to take Sasuke, then he’d swoop in and save the day- er, so to speak. And the pale bastard wouldn’t be none the wiser.

He had taken Orochimaru’s figurative tongue lashing demurely, with his head down, quietly requesting mercy. A far cry of what he was really feeling. Although, his master’s volatile anger was understandable, seeing that Sasuke had almost killed him and was now out of reach. But there were plenty of other people to take it out on. Why Kabuto?

He allowed a quiet scoff to escape him as he easily infiltrated Konoha. It really was a wonder how this place was standing. Their Hokage was soft, therefore the ninja were soft.

Proof of that was how easily they welcomed Sasuke and Itachi back into their pathetic little village. 

All it took was the kyuubi brat finding out the truth about the Uchiha massacre from that ROOT traitor, Sai, and interrupting what should’ve been Itachi’s execution by his brother. All with the magic of friendship or some crap. Then they got the Hokage and her pink haired brat to heal Itachi’s sickness, and through what must have been a very flowery and disgustingly hearty speech, the Kyuubi brat got most of the village to forgive the Uchihas and get the old geezer, Danzo executed.

Well, _lah-dee-dah._ Good for **them.** _He_ had to put up with Orochimaru’s eternal bitchiness at losing Sasuke’s body and the hell he would have to go through to get him back, this time by force.

And then kill the blonde before he got the whole world to join hands and sing kumbaya. Kabuto shuddered. 

Being very familiar with Sasuke’s chakra, it was easy to find where he was once he got past the guards and through the gate. Che, child’s play, especially with the night’s darkness. The thought brought a smirk on the ninja’s face.

He followed Sasuke’s trail from the shadows, ending up at a clan’s estate. The Yamanakas’, he soon realized. Is this where he was made to stay?

Sasuke’s chakra indicated that he was to the east of the estate. Only one problem. He was completely surrounded with other chakra signatures, one being the Kyuubi vessel.

Well, he’d just have to be a lot more discreet then.

He was lead to the only part of the estate with its lights on and emitting a lot of noise. Sounds of laughter, talking and crashing. Typical Konoha shinobi behaviour to be doing such a civillian thing like a having a party.

He settled himself on the pane of a high up large window and inspected the scene below him. His eyes swept over every individual in the room, noting that every male shinobi of Sasuke’s generation were there. Most were gathered around a large table playing a game of cards including an almost horse sized dog, a small group was huddled in a circle, speaking loudly amongst themselves. One or two leaned on the walls, watching the proceedings with amusement or boredom. Almost everyone had liquor with them. No females were present.

How sad, Kabuto mused. His eyes easily picked out Sasuke, who seemed to be getting coerced by the Kyuubi vessel into partaking in their card game. His mouth was twisted into a scowl and pointed death glares at him, which the blonde cheerfully ignored.

It wasn’t his original plan to include all of them, but he had very little time. Besides, it was probably better if he got them all. And a whole lot funnier. He made three swift signs and sucked in a deep breath. 

“Ninja Art: Anti-Aging Justsu Parody!” He whispered and a translucent mist erupted from his mouth. After a minute, he lowered his hand and the mist cut off.

That particular jutsu was one of his early attempts of immortality. It was a failure, but he kept it handy, just in case the need arose. He stayed a few more seconds to watch his handiwork. As soon as the mist settled over the oblivious ninja, he released the hold on his chakra and disappeared.

Sasuke immediately shot upright and glanced around frantically, knocking his chair over. Everyone looked towards the disturbance. Naruto raised his eyebrows.

“Eh, what’s wrong teme?” He squinted.

“Kabuto. I sensed his chakra. He was here.” Sasuke hissed.

Everyone, drunk or not snapped to attention.

“Shit.” Everyone turned to look at Neji, who rarely cursed. His byakugan was activated and his eyes faced upwards.

“Damn.” Groaned Shikamaru.

“Something smells off.” Kiba sniffed. Akamaru barked in agreement.

“What? What?” Naruto demanded.

“Some kind of mist. It’s chakra-laced.” Neji hissed.

“Must be Kabuto’s jutsu.” Shikamaru’s eyes narrowed.

“And we’re all breathing it in!” Kiba wailed.

Everyone clamped hands over their noses a bit too late.

“D’ya think it’s poison?” Naruto asked.

“I doubt it, but I’m not sure.” If the situation weren’t so dire, Naruto would’ve laughed at how nasally Neji sounded.

“I do not feel so well.” Lee said, before he collapsed.

“Lee!”

Neji stumbled towards him before falling unconscious as well. Naruto watched helplessly as his comrades dropped like flies around him.

Lee. Neji. Akamaru. Kiba. Shikamaru. Shino. Chouji. Sai. Sasuke.

“Kid, what the hell?” He faintly heard Kurama.

“I don’t know.” He said, before everything went black.


	2. Say What?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls arrive to something unexpected and of course panic, joke and have mini heartattacks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m half ashamed and half uncaring that I’m putting very little effort into this. I also can’t believe I called Kabuto a silver haired thot. I’m hilarious when I have a fever.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have left so early. I doubt the ‘Boys’ Night In’ is over yet.” Tenten slurred, leaning half her weight on her purple haired friend.

Ino snorted. “Whatever. ‘Girls’ Night Out’ is over and I wanna go to sleep. So long as they keep it down, they can have their party till the crack o’ dawn for all I care.” The blonde’s eyes roved over her companions.

“‘Sides, Hinata’s the only sober one here. Sakura’s at the deep end of tipsy and you and I are completely smashed. Y’all are gonna have to crash at my place. We can have a sleepover, except all we do is sleep. Sakura can poof away our hangovers in the morning.”

“Is that all I’m good for?” The rosette grumbled almost stumbling under the blonde’s weight.

“Yes.”

They walked through the entrance gate of the Yamanaka estate and headed east, to where the almost adults of the Yamanakas were made to stay. Since Ino had only a few cousins her age and no siblings, she more or less had the whole section to herself. Which meant the eastern building of the estate was the site of every member of the Rookies’ birthday and random celebrations and parties.

It was only a hour after midnight, so it was quite weird that it was quiet. Deadly quiet. The kunoichi exchanged glances. 

“Maybe all the loud ones passed out?” Tenten suggested weakly, hiccuping.

Sakura shook her head. “The kyuubi burns off alcohol quickly, so unless someone knocked him out Naruto should be conscious and as loud as ever.”

There was a tense silence before they ran towards the small ballroom where the party was being kept. Tenten and Ino were too drunk to climb the flight of stairs quickly, so Sakura flung her best friend over her shoulder and Hinata carried Tenten bridal style with the assistance of a little chakra.

They were close enough to sense chakra. 

Hinata frowned. “Their chakras are all at rest. They couldn’t all be unconscious. Neji-san doesn’t drink, and Shino-san doesn’t drink more than a glass.”

“And Sasuke-kun doesn’t like his senses dulled, so he wouldn’t get drunk.” Sakura frowned and pooled chakra in her feet so she could run faster.

“Maybe they all got in a huge fight and knocked each other out?” Ino asked, but by her tone it obvious that she didn’t believe it.

Sakura almost flew by the entrance of the ballroom. She set Ino down gently and helped her stumble inside. Both of the lighthaired girls froze immediately at what they saw.

“W-what is it?” Hinata inquired, setting Tenten on her feet.

Sakura opened her mouth, but only a strangled noise sounded from her throat.

“Am I- am I hallucinating?” Ino asked in a strained voice.

“I burned the last of the alcohol out of my system, and we’re both seeing the same thing.” Sakura whispered and raised her hand to her friend to make her sober using her chakra. Ino stood straighter, but her horrified face didn’t change. 

Sakura moved out of the way to do the same for Tenten, and Hinata gasped.

Tenten blinked once, twice then rubbed her eyes.

Sakura made a sign and flared her chakra. “Kai!” She shouted. The sight didn’t change.

“What the actual f-” Ino swallowed and stepped inside. At the movement, Sakura snapped out of her stupor and rushed to the nearest person- Naruto. She hesitated, before placing her hand on his chest and running a diagnostic with her chakra.

She reached over and did the same with the two nearest to him, Sasuke and Chouji. 

“They’re fine- I mean, they’re perfectly healthy. And it’s not a disguise jutsu, since there isn’t any chakra surrounding them to alter their appearances.”

“Okay so, if it’s not genjutsu or a henge, and they’re perfectly healthy, then please tell me WHY THEY ARE ALL BABIES?”

Sakura winced. “I don’t know! This is so weird!” She pushed her hands underneath Naruto’s body and cradled him. His now tiny body was swarthed in his normal sized clothes.

“Naruto!” She nudged him gently, but he didn’t stir. She was at lost. Her comrades were all on the floor, all unconscious and all toddler sized. With no indication as to how their bodies were almost two decades younger.

“Oh-oh my.” Hinata stuttered, before her eyes rolled back in her head and she fainted. Ino caught her before she hit the floor.

“Please tell me she isn’t turning into a baby too!” Sakura screeched.

“No, she just fainted.” Ino slapped Hinata’s cheeks. The Hyuuga groaned while she sat up quickly and covered her eyes.

“P-please tell me that was a horrible dream and when I remove my hands everything will be normal.”

“I wish.” Ino wailed. “I know I say they’re like kids sometimes-” She glanced at her teammates’ small bodies - “but this is ridiculous!” She crawled over to Chouji, picked him up and went over to pick up Shikamaru. “I’m not ready to be a mother!” She cried.

Sakura, despite the situation, rolled her eyes at her dramatic friend. 

“Hinata, you’re the fastest. Go to Tsunade-sama, she’ll be awake. Tell her…” She glanced around the large room. “Code orange. She won’t ask questions. Tell her to bring Kakashi-sensei too.”

“Hai.” Hinata leapt towards the stairs.

Sakura turned to her remaining friends. “Ino, you don’t by chance have any two year old clothes lying around, do you?” 

The blonde, through her hysterics glared at Sakura.

“Thought so. But we can’t leave them in such huge clothes, and we don’t want them completely naked so…” She frowned. “Leave them in their shirts. Ino, get some of your thickest blankets, we’ll make a makeshift cot for them on the floor so Tsunade-sama can check them with ease.” She paused. “God I hope they’re potty trained.”

“There’s a possibility that they will be teenagers stuck in two and three year old bodies, but if not…” Tenten trailed. “That’s _a lot_ of diapers.”

While Ino ran off to her room, Tenten and Sakura proceeded to slip off the boys’ outerwear and pants.

Sakura looked up when she heard a snort. “What is it?”

Tenten was holding Neji and pulling off his pants. “This is beyond weird. Neji’s boxers have little pandas on them.” She bit down on her knuckle to force back a laugh. “I can’t believe I’m stripping them, I’ll never look them in the eye again.”

Sakura rolled her green orbs. “It helps if you just see them as the babies in the nursery.”

“Yeah, but I’m not a medic so…”

Ino waddled in with a pile of blankets that towered over her head. “I have them!”

Sakura nodded. “Tenten, if you’re finished, help Ino-pig spread them out. Make it has comfy and wide as possible, it’s almost certain that they’ll be there for hours as shishou examines them. Then you guys help me lay them out an even distance apart from each other.”

They nodded, grateful that she was taking charge.

“Who would even do this?” Tenten wrinkled her nose as she straightened a baby blue blanket.

“Assuming it’s a jutsu.”

“But what else could it be? Was it one of them? Is this some kind of a prank? If it was an enemy, why leave them alive, or leave them at all?”

“Shishou will know.” Sakura said firmly. “She has to.”

One by one they laid the shinobi-turned-toddlers on the makeshift bed. Sakura checked the rest with her medical diagnostic jutsu. Ino brushed a lock of hair off Chouji’s face. “Guys, I know this isn’t the time, but they’re so friggin’ _cute.”_

“You’re right, it isn’t the time.” Sakura sneered. She glanced down a Sasuke’s small sleeping face. She cleared her throat. “You’re right. They’re adorable.”

“What if they don’t wake up?” Tenten hands shook as she kneeled before her tiny teammates. She rolled up the sleeves of Neji's shirt, revealing small pale hands. She sighed before moving to do the same to Lee.

There was silence as Ino and Sakura fearfully glanced at each other. They hadn’t considered that factor.

Ino shook her head. “They will. We have two of the best medic nins in the world in our village.” She smiled encouragingly at Sakura. The girl blushed.

“R-right. We’ll figure it out Tennie. I’ll bet our major concern will be how we’re gonna prevent the boys from burning all the embarrassing photos we’ll take!”

Tenten smiled at the attempt of a joke. “Naked baby pictures would be a great weapon to have in our arsenal.” She agreed.

“The blackmail shall be sweet.” Ino giggled.

All three girls looked up at Hinata’s arrival. She was closely followed by Tsunade. 

“Sakura? What’s the code orange for-” Tsunade stopped in her power stride to her student. “What the fuck.”

“My sentiments exactly.” Ino nodded.

“Language! They’re children present.”

“That’s the problem. Why are there children present, and why do they look exactly like your teammates?”

“Excellent question Tsunade-sama. We have absolutely no clue. That’s why there’s an code orange.”

“What even is a code orange?” Ino eyebrows furrowed.

“Emergency involving Naruto.” Tsunade and Sakura answered simultaneously.

“Yo.” Kakashi strode in. His lone visible eye flickered to cot. He froze mid-walk.

“Hokage-sama.” Ino and Tenten briefly bowed.

“We found them like this when we got back from the bar.” Sakura told them. “Well, not exactly like this. They were all on the floor, looking like they fell wherever they stood. It’s not a genjutsu, nor a henge and no visible seals, cuts, needle points or such the like. We have no idea what happened. I scanned them all, they’re all healthy... toddlers. Though… some of them were drunk, so I had to burn away the alcohol. It couldn’t be healthy for their little livers. I was hoping you could find something we missed. Have you ever seen something like this?”

Tsunade blinked. “No…” She said slowly and glanced at the sixth hokage who shook his head. “I’ll check them, but I doubt you missed anything. This must be a jutsu, but… why? It could be to make them easier to kill or kidnap, but they were left unharmed. None of our shinobi has this kind of jutsu, or anything even similar.” She started to move from one boy to the other, checking them.

“Whoever did it must be really good.” Hinata spoke up. She tensed as everyone’s attention turned to her, but she continued. “I mean, not only is the jutsu bizarre and incredible, but drunk or not, not anyone can sneak up on a group of the best young ninjas in the village.”

“Yeah, but why?” Ino stressed. “It also freaks me out that this person sneaked in Konoha undetected, did something happen to the scouts and the guards at the gates?” She paused as Kakashi pointed to the window and flicked his finger up, no doubt signalling an ANBU to go check it out. “What can be the motive? They’re not in comas? They weren’t physically harmed, and they’re all here! It can’t be to weaken the village, since you guys and supposedly everyone else are still adults. Is it some kind of a sick joke?”

“Yamanaka-san, you should know by now that no one needs a good reason to do weird shit.” Kakashi said tiredly. “So yes, it’s probably a sick joke. Hopefully the boys will have some answers. Assuming their minds didn’t get young along with their bodies.”

“We won’t even know the difference.” Sakura shrugged. “They’re children 24/7. It’s just that their bodies have shrunk to match their mental age.”

Ino smacked Sakura on her arm.

Tsunade straightened after treating her student to a wry glance. “I don’t see anything unusual. I mean, other than the fact that they are freaking literal brats now.”

“So what do we do?”

Tsunade shrugged. “The only thing we can do is wait for them to wake up and see if the guards saw anything.”

As if on cue, an ANBU wearing a bear mask appeared between Kakashi and Tsunade. Kakashi nodded, indicating he should speak.

“The guards weren’t aware.” He drawled dryly, clearly unamused that an enemy was able to enter without even alerting them.

“Just as I feared.” Tsunade huffed when he disappeared. “The shinobi are taking the long stretch of peace for granted.” She turned to Kakashi. “You should do something about that.”

“Maa.” Kakashi groaned. “Paperwork. Too bad child labour is illegal.” He eyed Shikamaru.

“We have to keep this quiet. It won’t do for the wrong ears to hear most of Konoha’s most prized shinobi are defenseless. But their parents should be notified.” She turned again to Kakashi. “You should do something about that.”

He responded with a baleful glare.

“Ah,” She sighed. “The pleasures of being retired.”

Everyone jumped as a loud noise emitted from the cot. Naruto snored and turned over on his side, mouth open and feet curling under his black T-shirt.

Sakura pressed her fingers to her lips forcefully repressing an ‘aww’. Tsunade caught the movement and her eyes narrowed, smirk stretching as a plan came to mind.

Obviously disturbed by the sound by his ear, Sasuke’s face contorted. He squinted an eye open, then the other until he was glaring at the ceiling sleepily.

“Sasuke-kun!” Sakura kneeled by him and helped him sit up. He blinked up at her owlishly before lashing out with his hand sideways catching Naruto in the cheek. The small blonde jolted, before sitting up and holding his cheek. His big blue eyes immediately latched on to the toddler beside him and they narrowed.

“Hey! What was dat fow?” He yelled, rubbing his cheek. Sasuke tore his eyes from Sakura to glare at him. “You were snoring.”

“So? You shouldn’t hit me!”

“Hn.”

“See?” Sakura glanced up at Tsunade. “No change.”

The honey blonde rolled her eyes. “Hey!” She bent and snapped her fingers in their faces. They blinked up at her. “Do you two remember what happened before you fell asleep?” She didn’t mention ‘and turn into kids’ because obviously they didn’t find it weird that they were four feet shorter.

“The jutsu is more advanced than I thought. They actually think they’re two year olds.” Tenten rubbed her chin. “This is bad.”

Kakashi nodded gravely.

“Befow…?” Naruto was confused. Sasuke looked up at her blankly before his eyes sharpened. 

“Kabuto.” He hissed.

“Oh yeah! That big meanie! We wewe playing and Sasuke felt his chakwa but he was alweady gone!” The blonde flung his small arms out for dramatic effect. The movement caused his sleeves to unroll and envelop his arms again. “And, and Neji and Shika saw a fog-”

“Mist.” Sasuke corrected.

“and Kiba smelled it and, and, and we twied not to bweathe it in but we did and then we few asweep.”

“So Kabuto’s the one behind it. And he used some kind of mist jutsu.” Tsunade tapped her chin.

“Dats what I said!” Naruto huffed. The former hokage’s eyebrow twitched before she stood up.

“If it’s Kabuto, why did he leave behind Sasuke? Or Neji for that matter? I’m sure he would love them for his experiments.” Sakura said bitterly.

Ino snapped her fingers. “Maybe he sensed us, and didn’t have the time. He probably thinks he can come back for them later or something.”

Sakura shook her head. “Maybe, but Kabuto’s smart. He knows that once we found them it would soon be clear that no one inside the village did it, and that we would up security. He wouldn’t be able to come back. He probably just thought it would be better to leave them than confront us and alert the whole village.”

“You think he’s still in the village?”

“If he is, he’ll be found. I’ve got people scouring the village now.” Kakashi said.

“Well. Now we know what to do. Track down Kabuto and make him reverse the jutsu. If he can’t reverse it, we hold him prisoner and make sure he spends his every waking moment trying to.” Tsunade said, eyes glinting dangerously.

“And when he does?” Ino inquired.

“We search his mind for all the info we can get on Orochimaru and his plans and then execute him.” Tsunade said flippantly.

“Sasuke killed Orochimaru.” Sakura reminded her.

Her teacher’s expression darkened. “That snake is like herpes. He always comes back.”

“What’s hewpees?” A small voice piped up. Naruto was staring at them expectantly.

“Uhhh.” Sakura scratched the back of her neck. “It’s a sickness.”

“Wike a cowd?”

“Yeah… like a cold.”

“Wiw I get it?”

Sakura’s face was red by now and she shifted nervously at the two curious stares. She glared as she realized everyone else was amused at her predicament. Only Hinata looked concerned.

She cleared her throat. “No. Not if you eat your vegetables.” She added as an afterthought.

Naruto face contorted with disgust. “Ew, no! I wathew have hewpees.”

Ino choked. “Is someone recording this?”

Sakura turned to her teacher and hokage. “Let me be on the team to find Kabuto. I’ll teach him a lesson.” She cracked her knuckles.

Kakashi regarded her. “No.”

“What?” She sputtered.

He waved his hand dismissively. “I’m sending ANBU. There’s a high chance that you’ll stumble across his freaky dangerous experiments or even the devil himself, Orochimaru.”

“But-”

“No, Sakura.” Kakashi smiled at her frustrated expression.

“We have a more suited job for you, all four of you.” Tsunade smirked. They gulped.

“W-what is it?” Tenten tentatively asked.

“You get to babysit your teammates! Fun, huh?”

Sakura blinked.

“Bitch say what?”


	3. Congratulations, you got boys!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls come to terms with their new situation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be the last chapter, but eh, the story stuck to me. I'm lengthening it. Wish me luck.

After clumsily dodging Tsunade’s deadly punch, Sakura sat with her friends while the fifth and sixth hokage explained their mission.

“I really don’t believe you could pay us enough to deal with nine two year olds for an undescribed amount of time, with all due respect Hokage-sama.” Tenten told Kakashi.

“I’m three.” The tiny Uchiha objected with a pout.

“Two and a hawf!” Naruto said, offended.

His gray eye crinkled in amusement. “You, frankly don’t have a choice. This is an official mission, treat it as such. You will all receive a budget that should be sufficient for their needs. That will be separate from your pay. As to who you’ll be taking care of, that’s easy. You’ll be taking care of your teammates!”

“That’s unfair, Kakashi-sensei! I’ll have to take care of three!” Sakura whisper-yelled, trying not to wake up the others.

“I suppose it is.” He shrugged in a what-can-you-do way. Her eyes narrowed.

He continued, amusement not wavering in the slightest. “I recommend you all stay here at the Yamanaka estate, since it has enough room for them. I trust that this is acceptable?” He asked Ino, who shrugged and nodded.

“Yes Hokage-sama.”

“Great. Expect family members to come and check on them and hopefully give you pointers on how to deal with them and their habits, but the actual baby-sitting is left to you. They’ll be restricted to only one visit though, as to not confuse the kids.”

He hummed thoughtfully. “Maybe I shouldn’t let them visit at all.” He turned to Tsunade. “What do you think? Would it be better to keep this contained to just this room and tell the families they have been sent on a mission?”

Tsunade tilted her head. “That’s probably the best route. Details can be released after we get them back to normal. Hopefully, we can get Kabuto before a week has passed.”

He nodded. “Details will be finalized when I draw the official mission scroll up. For now, prepare for at least two weeks of living here. There shouldn’t be, but are there any objections? They’ll be ignored of course, but it is polite to ask.”

The four girls exchanged glances, and looked down at their new charges, Most were still asleep, sans Naruto and Sasuke, who were absorbing their every word despite not being able to understand most of it.

“No.” They said together.

“Good. Have fun!” The silver haired hokage waved and disappeared in a plume of smoke.

Tsunade ran a manicured hand down her face. “We’ll have someone deliver the mission scroll and your budget. You’ll have to ignore the weird looks you’ll get when you start to purchase toddler clothes.” She tapped her chin. “Say you’re with a program that is donating to an orphanage or something. That’s where the clothes and toys will go when the boys are back to themselves anyway.”

She then turned to face the girls with a soft smile. “You’ll do great. Take care of these knuckleheads. We’ll do our best to get them fixed ASAP. Thank you.” She also disappeared.

Ino turned to her friends with her hands on her hips. “Well, shit. I did not go get myself wasted to come back to this.”

“She said a bad wowd!” Naruto gasped with his hands on his chubby cheeks.

“Ino, be responsible. We’re guardians now. Rule number one, no profanity.” Sakura scolded.

Tenten winced. “I’m a mother.” 

“Guardians.” Her violet haired friend corrected. “And I doubt it will extend over a week, Tennie. K-kabuto can’t be far.”

Sakura looked down a small weight pressed on her lap and small hands clung to her forearms.

“You awe my mommy now, Sakuwa?” He looked hopeful as he flashed her a winning smile.

Her eyes narrowed. “No, Naruto.” She pried his hands off her and clasped them between her own larger ones. “I’m your teammate. But I’m also your big sister.” The small blonde’s face had dropped for a millisecond before it shone even brighter than before.

“Okay, sis!” 

A couple of months ago, when Sakura had declared herself their older sister, they had a small fight over it. She said she was the eldest, therefore, she was the bigger sibling. Naruto objected, saying he was the taller one, therefore he was the bigger sibling. Sasuke, slightly annoyed, told him that meant Sasuke was the biggest sibling since he was taller than them both.

Sakura ended up being declared the eldest because she was, quote ‘older than you by at least four months, and way mature than you dolts combined’ end quote. And also she threatened not to heal them for months unless they relented. She won.

Sakura was satisfied that toddler Naruto had no objections this time.

“Where’s Akamaru?” A loud voice wailed. Kiba scrambled upward and almost tripped over his too large T-shirt. “I want Akamaru!” His bottom lip trembled and his slitted pupils widened to an almost circle.

Before anyone had the chance to reply, there was a yip from the corner of the room. A sleepy white bundle of fur galloped clumsily to the close to tears toddler. Akamaru gave another shrill bark before dumping himself at his partner’s feet.

The little boy squealed and buried his nose into the puppy’s fur. The canine had shrunk also, but he was almost the same size as the toddler dog-nin.

“It’s like the domino effect.” Tenten murmured, watching the other kids shift at the noise.

“Ok! Before they all wake up and chaos begins, Ino, how are we gonna do this?”

The platinum blonde rubbed her chin. “Well, at the top floor there are several connected rooms with a large kitchen and living room area at the center. I guess we could stay up there. It’s barely furbished though, since this generation doesn’t need it.”

“Great!” Sakura nodded. “That’ll do. We’ll just make it comfortable enough for a night’s- er, morning’s sleep and figure out what to do in the day. We’ll have to split jobs.”

Ino clapped her hands. “Forehead and I will take care of shopping for the cutest clothes ever!” She clapped her hands and went starry eyed at the thought of cute onesies and animal hats. 

“And I guess some groceries too. Tenten and Hinata can deal with the furbishing part. You guys can just seal our beds in some scrolls along with other essentials and bring them up and arrange them to your liking. Up there is regularly cleaned so don’t worry about dust and stuff.”

Hinata sighed and closed her eyes. “We’ll have to take turns leaving the compound. While Sakura and Ino go shopping we’ll watch the kids and then they’ll come and relieve us so we can do our task. Everyone good with that?”

When no one answered she looked up. She was startled to see them staring at her starry eyed.

“W-what?”

“It’s so cute when you’re stressed and you forget to stutter.” Ino cooed teasingly.

Hinata’s cheeks flared and she pouted.

“Why are my clothes so big?” Sasuke asked, lifting his shirt to expose his small legs.

“Well, those are the clothes we have available now, but we’ll fix that in the morning. Okay?” Sakura yawned. The Uchiha’s eyes narrowed but he nodded and busied himself with making his T-shirt easier to manoeuvre in.

“So we’ve figured what to do later today, but what about now? I’m exhausted and these little buggers don’t seem to be ready to go back to sleep anytime soon.” Ino drawled, looking down on the boys who blinked back up at her, bright eyed.

“Can’t you give them something to go back to sleep, Sakura?” Tenten warily eyed Chouji, who was starting to rub his eyes.

“Are you suggesting I drug them?” Sakura gaped.

“Yes.” Her friends replied drily and sleepily.

She paused. “Well, I’d need nine glasses of warm milk and some herbs-”

“I’m not drinking anything.” Sasuke interjected, folding his arms.

“It’s just to help you go to sleep.”

“I don’t want to.” His lower lip jutted out.

“Are you willing to stay up by yourself while everyone is asleep?” Hinata asked quietly. “All alone? In the dark?”

Sasuke’s eyes widened. He shook his head slowly.

“I want miwk!” Naruto exclaimed, raising one hand.

“Me too!” Kiba smiled. Akamaru woofed.

“Nine glasses of milk and a doggie dish. Got it.” Sakura stood to her feet.

“Make an antidote for cuteness overload while you’re at it.” Ino muttered, covering her eyes. “Before I implode.”

“I’m afraid there’s no known cure.” Sakura smirked before she started down the stairs. “You’ll have to deal with it.”

Naruto clapped his hands with a goofy grin. “It’s me isn’t it?! I’m cute!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was weak, I know. Next one will be better, probably.
> 
> Edit: Crap, Sai slipped my mind, I kept writing 'eight' instead of nine. Fixed. Please notify me of mistakes please, I have no problem with fixing them ASAP.


End file.
